All of us intuitively know when
we are about to have a difficult
conversation with somebody. Yet, there are still
a few of us who do not have any trouble striking up
random conversations.
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Usually, difficulty happens when we know that there is a likely chance
that negative feedback will occur.
Some conversations may also seem difficult because we think that
there are just too many things at stake.
We may have already taken a position where a retraction would lead
to embarrassment.
Which is why it's important that we reflect on things before we put
our foot in our mouths.
Here are a few guide questions we can ask ourselves before we get
into a form of interaction: |
1. What do I want from
this conversation?
2. What can I expect from it?
3. What sort of fears will crop up midway?
4. Am I making assumptions about the person I'm
about to talk to?
5. Am I willing to listen and understand?
For interaction to be successful, we need to step out of the
box and be objective about everything. There are so
many things to talk about. You can start by asking
about the person and his or her background. Move on
from there and try not to put too much into it,
otherwise things will just come out too contrived.
If the person refuses to make any effort, then stop
blaming yourself. After all, it takes two to tango.
People who refuse to open up are less likely to achieve popularity.
You need to stop putting all the blame on yourself.
When you meet people like this, all you need to do
is politely walk away. Say goodbye and move on to a
more open individual.
You need to understand other people: what motivates them and how
they think. More than that, you need to accurately
read their body language. People who are
genuinely interested will look at you in the eye and
listen to what you have to say.
To be good at reading a person's thought needs practice. Get
yourself out there and learn. After all, it is only
through constant exposure will you learn the ins and
outs of a situation.
You also need to be in touch with yourself and your code of ethics.
It takes practice to observe the dynamics between
two people. You need to have the courage to explore
the community you live in. Culture plays a big part
in forming a person's frame of mind. Understand what
that person believes in and what is important to
them.
The person will be more responsive if they feel that you sympathize
with their beliefs. You need not embrace their
principles, but at least be willing to understand
the why's and what's of it all.
The success of a dialogue is highly dependent on emotional
awareness. When people see that you are trying
to understand them and at the same time, give them
unobstructed inputs of your views, then they will be
more willing to get to know you more. Good
conversational skills will make that happen more
often.
